We've been enjoying the mild April weather, spending time with Elise in the backyard just about daily. She likes wandering around, looking at trees, lounging in the hammock, listening to birds ... and eating ant hills.Yeah, ant hills.
I understand the whole explore-with-your-mouth developmental stage, but can't there be some limits? Oh, sure, we can whisk her away from one tantalizing ant mound, but she'll find another, guaranteed.
Does it really matter? It's just dirt, right? Still.
A bit of ant hill dirt may the least of our concerns, though, and I'm beginning to wonder, based on outdoor warnings for kids, how the heck I lived this long.
Is it safe for your child to walk on the grass? Sure, the experts say, unless you use some type of fertilizer that's full of triboloetyatrazene, or some other chemical that upon contact turns a five-fingered-hand into a fleshy nub.
I may be new at this parenting thing, but I did know it's wise to get fertilizer that is at least somewhat kid-friendly, which is to say I will be paying a lot for something that doesn't work.
That is not our biggest problem, though. According to one of Anni's parenting magazines, there is a toxic danger lurking in -- or should I saw lumped in -- the grass in our backyard.
You know what it is? It's raccoon poop. Yeah, there was a small article devoted to the danger of raccoon crap, on the basis that it contains some chemical compound harmful to people -- if people eat it.
The article even provided a step-by-step description of how to remove it from the grass and to sanitize the grass. I'm not kidding. The article actually suggested pouring a pot of boiling water on the grass where the raccoon crap was. Because that's normal behavior.
So, there you have it. A good parent should conduct a sweep of the yard to search for toxins -- various forms of fertilizer, I guess -- before allowing the little one to roam free.
I'm not too worried about the raccoon threat. In fact, I'll bet the woodchucks that have taken up residence in our yard would scare off the raccoons.
If that doesn't work, the fox I saw strolling through the yard last year may be back this summer.
And with that, I think it's time to send Elise outside to play.
1 comment:
Yeah, I agree. I don't know how we all made it to adulthood without knee and elbow pads when roller skating, a helmet for the bike. Mouth guard for the teeth lest you get hit with a softball in the mouth. And, horror of horrors, we played dodgeball. Gasp! We had black eyes, skinned knees, bruised legs, sprained fingers, bumps on our heads, and then we went out to do it all again the next day. The freezer had ice and a clean wash cloth was always on hand. If the ball was coming to your face, you ducked. If you were about to skate into traffic, you fell in the grass. Whatever happened to common sense? Whatever happened to letting the kid touch a semi-hot stove so that he believes you when you say, "it's hot." We rode bikes with helmets - and it you fell, well, yeah, it hurt. Don't do it again, dummy. We drank water from a hose rather than take the time out to run inside and get a glass of water like a civilized creature. And, since I have the hose on....where's that brother of mine..... We said things like, "beep beep or I'll run you over" and hopefully the person blocking the sidewalk was smart enough to get out of the way, otherwise...where's the ice pack? Bactine was a staple in the medicine chest along with regular bandaids without cartoon characters. You took a bath before bed because even the bedbugs didn't want to be as dirty as you were. You were up at the crack of dawn but not allowed out of the house before 9am when every parent set their kids loose to play and get dirty all over again. Ah, it was fun.
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